This essay mentions the most important thing the author mention's in her article and chooses one significant idea that the author made in her article to specifically write about. The writer quoted the author and refereed back to her many ideas from the article to include in this essay. This writer hinted to a personal experience in their essay but the experience could have been easier to find. Instead of referring to everyone in the world ages 10-50 the writer should of specified or made this example more personalized. There is not enough "mention" of their personal experience. There were also a couple of grammatical errors I noticed, I would advise to re-read your paper to make sure you catch any grammatical errors that can be avoided.
Overall i do however think this person should pass because the summary, authors important message, and the significant idea of the authors were all broad topics in this essay. The grammatical errors were minor and there were not many and there was a personal experience. However there should have been more in depth and more clear to the reader at the end of paragraph one, that your example was your personal experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment